Hurting You
by LifexSins
Summary: Ashley is in her darkest hour, blaming herself for hurting Spencer. Oneshot


One-Shot  
Summary: Ashley is in her darkest hour, blaming herself for hurting Spencer.  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: I don't own them... grunts like everyone else  
A/N: My first fic I've written in a long time, so call this a start to more Spashley fics to come.

'You hurt her… again!' The voices continued to echo through Ashley's mind. 'You promise her it's the last time but still you wake up every morning next to a random face!' The poor brunette could not be in a more depressive state as she lay in her bed that night. Mommy dearest had called no longer than an hour ago to say she would be away for yet another week, not that it bothering Ashley but the comment she received before her mother hung up.

"If you're going to whore yourself around with those girls at least let them take you to their mother's house so they'll stop robbing me."

Her mother had just hung up. She wasn't expecting any kind of 'I love you' or 'See you when I get home' but ending it with a remark as harsh as that felt like a knife ripping into Ashley's chest. Hell, she might as well have said 'If you die, don't leave a blood stain on my carpet'. She meant nothing to the woman she called mother.

And dear, little Spencer … the girl was completely head over heels for her and every time she held the cute blonde in her arms, the thoughts of what she'd been doing behind her back were busy killing her. When the two would collapse onto her bed tangled in an embrace of kisses, she couldn't help but to see the faces of her last one-night stands. She'd been with Spencer for only a month yet she had slept with two different girls, neither being her girlfriend. Spence didn't deserve to be treated like this. She didn't deserve to be thinking Ashley was visiting her father one night when really she was between some bar girl's legs. The thoughts of what she was doing sickened her, made her want to hurt herself.

"Good idea, Ash," she told herself. "Just one cut … then can't hurt Spence anymore."

The brunette crawled to the back of her bed, opening her nightstand drawer, and digging out a razor blade. She locked eyes with it for a while, trying to decide whether she should obey her suicidal thoughts. 'As long as you're breathing you'll be hurting her' the voice her head spoke, seeming so keen on watching the blade slide against her wrist. 'Think about it, she's the only one that will cry when you die. No one else will …'

Ashley's hand shook as it hovered above her wrist, the blade firm and ready to taste flesh. 'You'll only be hurting her one more time and won't be able to do it ever again … do it!' Several dear drops fell from her eyes, splashing against the fragile surface of skin she was planning to rip open.

"I'm sorry, baby," Ashley spoke as if Spencer were there and placed the razor against her skin, closing her eyes in horror of the pain she was about to feel.

It happened so fast … just as she began to lead the blade across its destination, the sounds of footsteps were heard running up the stairs. Ashley heard her name screamed in terror and before she could go any further a pair of arms had wrapped around her body and stolen the razor blade out of her possession.  
"Ashley! Baby!" an all to familiar voice cried out in tears.

She felt herself being turned around and pulled into a tight, scared embrace. Catching the scent of that familiar blonde hair, Ashley buried herself deeper into the shoulder of Spencer Carlin. As she held on she could feel her girlfriend shaking while she tried to cling to her more tightly. Ashley felt tender kisses, wet from tears, against her neck as Spencer began a trail up her face to her temple before capturing her lips in her own. Not feeling deserving enough, Ashley was the first to break it and laid back into her arms yet again.

"Oh, Ash, was it me?" Spencer began to choke in her tears. "What'd I do, baby? I'm so sorry!"

The brunette's eyes widened at the words spoken. She quickly broke from the embrace and stared into her girlfriend's pleading eyes … hurt eyes. 'Good job, see what happens when you take so long? Look, she's hurt again! She thinks she did it! You made her cry, you selfish brat!'

"NO!" Ashley found herself almost screaming. "There is nothing you could ever do to hurt me! You're the only shard of innocence left in my life! Spencer! I hurt you! If only you knew what I did last ni…"

"Stop," the blonde placed a finger over her lips. "Ashley, baby, whatever you did … it doesn't matter right now. We'll work past it … but ..."

Spencer broke down into tears yet again, and collapsed into the brunette, holding on for dear life as she brought herself to finish, "but … promise me you'll never hurt yourself again. Sweetie, if I'd gotten here ten seconds later then …" Ashley stroked her hair, pulling her face deeper into her chest as she cried. "Baby, promise me!"

"I promise."


End file.
